Contents
Opening
I know why you are here. You are here because you are looking for something. You have searched for this something in many places before and to you, this book is one of them. This something is a very interesting something, for it cannot be bought or borrowed. It is formless and cannot be seen, though you know it is everywhere. It is what you have been looking for your entire life, and you believe that you will be better off when you find it. This something is what brought you to me.
You are at a point in your life where every slither of your being aches to find it, so much so that you would give up everything. You would give up everything to find what you have been looking for, but what does that mean? What is everything, and how do you know that you’re ready to give it up? What if you’re not yet aware of the significance this everything holds? Even when you do become aware, what could possibly remain in the absence of everything, that you would sacrifice it all?
I remember what it felt like when I looked for my something. I understand how quickly you would be willing to give it all up, just to know. It’s as if everything in your life is just… there, and you are somewhere else… you are here. Unfortunately, the something that you desperately want is neither here nor there, so where is it? Where can something that is no where be found? How can someone even know where to start looking? Why even begin the search for something you are not even sure can be discovered? Why are you still looking? Why do I think I can help you?
I found my something, but it was no easy feat. I went through every stage of desperation before I came close to finding it. I wanted nothing else other than to know. What is it that I wanted to know? Why I am able to know at all. The search for purpose is a spectrum along which you may or may not find yourself, though it is the finding of such a spectrum that allows your search to end, rather peacefully. It is not the finding of a purpose, but the realisation or remembrance of its existence, or lack thereof.
What I found in my version of something was my version of the something. However, what I learned from the finding was how to see it, the something, in everything. Albeit, it was that very everything that I had given up on my journey, that allowed me to see at all.
I am not here to tell you that everything must go, for you to find your something, but rather I am here to show you that it is already here, whatever it may be that you are searching for. Whether it is love, purpose, or a reason to keep going, I will help you see it. There is no need to lose everything in order to find something, for us humans have a wondrous ability, and that is the ability to forget! There is no need to lose everything because you can simply learn to forget it, but it will once again be remembered.
Imagine a small, dark-lit room. This room has nothing inside of it except for your something. A small Leprechaun is standing by the door. You ask it if you can go inside, because you have been looking forever for your something, and you really want to see it. The Leprechaun tells you that you can only go inside if you give it everything. Not just all your belongings, but literally everything. Your life, your memories, your beliefs, your everything. Thankfully, this Leprechaun also tells you it will all be returned when you leave.
I am the Leprechaun and this book is the room. I am not telling you to give up everything, though I am asking you to leave it all at the door, and pick it up on your way out. I want you to read this book with nothing to lose and nothing to fear. Once you have completed the journey, it is up to you what you choose to take and leave behind. It is up to you whether you choose to forget or remember what you learned. I am only showing you what is already here, though I understand why it cannot be seen.
I want to show you everything I needed to learn before I deserved to know anything, let alone something. I want to help you abstract every single part of your being until there is nothing left to abstract. That is, the abstraction of nothingness is all that is left to abstract. I want to remind you of the frailties of your mind, the fallibility of your beliefs and the paradoxical nature of remembering.
I want to help you find your something without telling you where to look, but instead how to see. I want to save you an eternity of despair through the simple notion of acceptance. I want to give you the tools that help you find your something and hone your ability to express it to others. I want you to remember why you started searching at all. I want you to remember why you started any thing at all. I want you to remember.
Why do I want all these things? Because I know what it did for me, so I can’t imagine what it will do for you. I know that if you appreciate the lessons this book aims to teach, you will learn to love the search, rather than wish for it to be over. I know that you will learn to love yourself more than you thought was possible. Although the techniques in this book may seem confusing at times, all will make sense in the end. There is no harm in rereading the same sections over and over again till you completely understand, though I aim to make this journey as simple as I possibly can.
I know what you are looking for, and I know why you have not found it. Would you like to know? Would you like to remember? Would you like to find a strength within you that is infinite? All that remains is for you to make the decision to go inside the room, and rest assured, everything will be waiting for you on the way out.
Hypothesis
If you were to ask me to tell you what I saw, I would not be able to, for it was not a thing that could be seen. It would be no different to searching for something that does not exist and would be impossible to describe. However, were you to ask me how I was able to see that I see, I would give you this book.
This book is not a spiritual guide nor does it antagonise religion. Rather, it aims to transcend the physical and metaphysical concepts and ideas both factions of belief pertain to. It is not a chronicle of mysticism, nor does it profess or attempt the teaching of psychic or supernatural abilities. Rather, its purpose is to illuminate the algorithmic nature in all phenomenon, and demonstrate the cyclical and repetitive patterns therein. Instead of introducing a new school of thought, it seeks to help you see why the things that exist, exist at all in the exact way that they do.
This book is not a review of scientific phenomenon, as that would require you to remain within the story you are trying to understand. Instead, it is a collection of principles that allow for the infinite, unfathomable exploration of your consciousness. I will not be telling you how to fly outside of your body or peak into the future, though I can show you that it would be no different to closing your eyes and entertaining your imagination.
This is not a reiteration of the various Buddhist teachings, nor is it an amalgamation of other existing philosophies. However, once you complete this journey, you will finally understand why such institutions exist at all. You will understand why we, as human beings, are able to ponder our own existence. You will recognise the ridiculousness throughout the search of what cannot be discovered.
This will not try to teach you how to live in the moment, but how to become it. This will not help you cure your depression, but embrace it and find meaning in what you thought could only be meaningless. This will not help you find the answer, it will show you how to recognise it. This will not instruct you on how to think, but help you see how to see what remains in the absence of thought.
Everything in this book is everything I needed to learn on my journey to finding… my something. I always believed that unless I was a proponent of spirituality, religion, science or philosophy, I would never find the purpose of my being. That is, until I became a proponent of nothing, and found everything.
Consequence
Before you are able to give up everything, or before you are able to leave it at the door, you must first understand what everything entails. Unfortunately, the nature of a human being is to be so distracted by the story one is experiencing that all else becomes pointless. A being who searches for their purpose in any thing that is not their being will never be able to find it.
I want you to understand why you are at all. To do so, you must first understand what you are not. Then, you must be able to accept a truth, that you will find yourself. This truth will be so obvious it is blinding. I will not be giving you more beliefs to believe, but rather I will show you how to transcend all belief. However, it is up to you whether or not you choose to follow. This is where you make a life altering, or vanishing, decision.
Know that should you follow this book, it is not your beliefs that will be challenged, but rather your belief in the concept of belief. This includes the identity with which you have identified for so long and the values you have tried so hard to uphold. This means leaving all your memories behind, as well as your current sense of self. This is the end of the “you” you believe you are. This is the end of the “you” you believe exists.
There are four stages of the self that you must become, only to then transcend: The Believer, The Knower, The Awareness and The Expression. Each is a higher level of awareness with which you must become familiar, until there is nothing left to transcend. I will guide you through the processes necessary in the attainment of these levels, though it is up to you to decide if you should follow.
I am not here to deceive you, for deceit lives amongst belief. I will show you a “you” that you have been, that does not know deceit. A “you” that does not know belief. A “you” that does not know. A “you” that does not do. A “you” that does not forget. A “you” that simply is.
There is nothing to learn, for you have made it this far already. It is what you have learned that taught you sorrow. It is what you have learned that taught you pain. It is what you have learned that taught you sadness. It is what you have learned that taught you how to look for a purpose that cannot be found. If it is what you have learned that taught you, what taught you how to learn?
All that I ask of you is to have an open mind, so open that it is infinite, in your journey of something discovery. All that I ask is that you do not give up in the search for your something. All that I ask is that you do not give up.
Epilogue
You are setting out on a journey in order to transform yourself from the something you believe you are into a nothingness that cannot be understood. Once you align yourself with the properties of nothingness, you will begin to comprehend the momentary, yet eternal nature of … nothing. In other words, you must understand what it means to do absolutely nothing and be absolutely no where, before you are able to find the nothingness in everything. That is, you must recognise yourself as infinite and eternal before you are able to find yourself in everything. Why are you trying to find yourself in everything? Because when there is nothing, there is still you aware of nothing… but what is the purpose of awareness still existing if there is nothing to be aware of?
It is important to note that there is quite literally nothing you can do to find this something. In other words, there is no specific path you can walk, no specific meditation you can explore and no spiritual yoga you can undertake in the pursuit of nothing. However, the nature of our being allows us to tap into this nothingness, whether it is through meditation or simple analysis. The purpose of this book is to show you the presence of absolutely nothing: no thing to be seen, heard, smelt, tasted or felt and no thoughts to be observed. Yet, in the nothingness, there is still an awareness of nothing. In other words, when there is nothing, there is something aware of the nothing… what is aware?
If you are religious, you must be prepared to leave behind all preconceptions concerning God, that is, until you come back. You must understand that your belief and faith in a God is observed in the very world you are leaving behind in the search for your something. With that being said, once you return, you are more than welcome to express the teachings of any religion you please, as long as you understand the very something you would be expressing.
If you are an atheist and believe there is no God or disbelieve in the possibility that such a God may exist, I ask you to do the same. I ask you to understand that all beliefs must be left behind, as well as all preconceptions regarding the nature of the self. Once you see how volatile the self truly is, you will not be able to allow beliefs to hinder your judgement or acceptance of what is and what is not. Even if you believe there is nothing, stop believing it, for belief prevents the unquestionable necessity for further inquiry, one that you will require on your journey.
You are going to break away all factions of your reality until you know nothing, except for the one who knows nothing. You are going to transcend your very being from a someone who is experiencing a physical world to a no one who is experiencing nothing. Yet, it is the experiencing of nothingness that will allow you to recognise your true nature in the absence of all things, distractions, beliefs, memories, values, experiences and preconceptions of the self. How can one experience nothingness? By being no one.
I am not going to tell you to ponder the infinite galaxies, nor am I trying to convince you of the shape of the Earth. I am not trying to help you live in the moment so that you could better focus on your dreams, nor am I going to help you find a happiness that is eternal, with no sorrow or pain. I am simply trying to help you find a peace that you can find in any and every situation. Yet, it is within this very peace that you will be able to know your something.
Finally, one of the most important things you can do is to abstain from all mind altering substances, until you understand what everything is. In other words, try to focus on having a sober, unwavering mind in the process of learning what it takes to find everything. However, once you understand what everything is, feel free to become aware of everything in different states of consciousness and different levels of awareness.
I am simply trying to help you remember your something, as it has been forgotten. But where do you go to remember what you do not know you have forgotten? No where!