Why do I want all these things? Because I know what it did for me, so I can’t imagine what it will do for you. I know that if you appreciate the lessons this book aims to teach, you will learn to love the search, rather than wish for it to be over. I know that you will learn to love yourself more than you thought was possible. Although the techniques in this book may seem confusing at times, all will make sense in the end. There is no harm in rereading the same sections over and over again till you completely understand, though I aim to make this journey as simple as I possibly can.
This will not try to teach you how to live in the moment, but how to become it. This will not help you cure your depression, but embrace it and find meaning in what you thought could only be meaningless. This will not help you find the answer, it will show you how to recognise it. This will not instruct you on how to think, but help you see how to see what remains in the absence of thought.
What if instead of voluntarily choosing to enter a virtual world, you were deceived and forced into it while you were unconscious? What if the virtual world you saw was as realistic as the one you know to be real, though you couldn’t tell the difference? What if you woke up, observed the experience of walking outside as well as picking out a flower from a garden and thinking “Ah, now this is a real flower!” What if you were deceived, and what you thought you knew to be true was all a lie?
I am not saying this world isn’t real, nor am I insinuating a matrix-like reality where you are living in a simulation. I am only showing you that your ability to assess any world’s reality is fallible and not at all a trustworthy medium through which you can determine or recognise truth. If you are finding it hard to believe that someone could be so deceived by images, sounds, aromas, tasting and the sensation of touch, try to remember a time you woke up from a dream and thought “Wow, that felt so real.” You’re right, it did feel real, and in the moment, it was real to you. It was real to you because you had no reason to believe it was not, until… you woke up.
What is meant by becoming The Knower and transcending The Believer is to completely understand the essence of your experience. It is to know your being. The Knower cannot fall victim to the menace of doubt, for The Knower cannot believe and is only ever able to know. The only things you have ever experienced, as a human being, are the five physical senses and the awareness of thought. In the physical senses all things can be seen, heard, smelled, tasted and felt. In thought, thoughts can be observed. That’s it. You are knowing the five physical senses and thought. All things are subject to the five physical senses and thought. The five physical senses and thought will be referred to as the experience.
The Knower knows not to dwell on thoughts, for they are as wavering as the clouds and as inescapable as death. The Knower does not and cannot think, but rather knows that a thought is being observed. The Knower simply knows that thought is being observed. The Knower does not exist within the five physical senses and thought, but simply knows the experience of sensing.
The Knower does not have an identity, for the concept of identity exists within thought. The Knower knows the experience in which an identity is associated with a physical body, though The Knower is neither associated with the identity nor the physical body. The Knower knows the observation of thought, wherein memories exist, yet it does not and cannot remember. The Knower knows a thought in which a memory is observed, though the contents of the thought are insignificant. The Knower knows thought, independent of the contents of what is thought.
If a physical experience of pain arose, The Knower does not feel pain, The Knower simply knows the experience of having felt pain. If a thought appeared, wherein the contents incited sadness or joy, The Knower would not feel sadness or joy. Instead, The Knower would know the experience of sadness or joy. The Knower cannot experience heartbreak, though it can know the experience of heartbreak and know the experience of shedding tears. The Knower can know a thought that holds memories of a past relationship, and it can know a thought that holds the belief of inadequacy, though it cannot feel inadequate.
The Knower cannot be a man or a woman, but it can know experience of being a man or being a woman. The Knower is not a thing, for a thing can only exist within the experience, therefore The Knower is no thing. However, it can know a thought in which the concept and understanding of a thing exists.
The Knower cannot change, but knows the experience wherein change exists. The Knower cannot grow, but knows the thought in which the understanding of growing exists. The Knower does not have a physical appearance, but rather knows the experience wherein appearances are able to be seen. The Knower is not alive, but rather knows a thought in which the concept of living exists. The Knower cannot know death, but rather knows a thought in which the imagined concept of death exists, for death has never been experienced.
The Knower does not do any thing, rather it knows the experience in which things are done. The Knower does not decide any thing, but rather knows the experience in which a thing may or may not be decided. The Knower does not know between right and wrong, but rather knows a thought in which the concepts of right and wrong exist.
You cannot know a past, instead, you know a thought in which the belief of a past exists. This belief of a past is commonly referred to as a memory. You are able to know a thought in which the past of a physical being is remembered. However, it is being observed now. That is, the knowing of a thought which contains a memory from the past is happening now.
No thing can happen at any time other than now. Although the physical being within the experience might say “But I remember what I did yesterday, and I was definitely doing it!”, that is you knowing a thought in which the belief in a “yesterday” exists. This is no easy understanding, for it requires you, The Knower, to disavow all remembered experiences as no more than the knowing of a thought wherein a memory exists. A memory that holds no significance to you, The Knower. A memory that is no different than a passing thought that is observed; A memory whose significance you must be able to let go of completely.
When I mentioned that the physical being must be ready and fully able to let go of everything, I meant everything. This is the everything the physical being must learn to let go of in the pursuit of the something. The physical being within the experience might believe that they have countless memories that they can remember and that those memories hold significant meaning, but that is simply the knowing of a thought in which the notion of sentimentality is entertained.
The Knower does not exist at any specific time, rather it knows one moment, in which the six senses are observed. This moment is now, it is the only moment you have ever known. It is the only moment you will ever know. Any moment that is not now, exists solely in the knowing of a thought that imagines a time other than now.
Any time that is believed by the physical being to be known other than now, is simply the knowing of a thought that is still happening now. You have never experienced time, for it is not a thing you, The Knower, can experience. Rather, you know the experience in which a physical being observes the effects of time in the physical world. You are not a thing that changes in time. You are the knowing of a physical experience in which time is used to measure change. Therefore, time cannot affect you, The Knower. Time cannot affect you because time is subject to the experience, and the experience is subject to you, The Knower.
It only takes you one moment to know the experience of a physical being. One moment where the knowing of a thought in which countless memories, beliefs and identities can be observed. One moment where the knowing of an experience of a physical being is observed. One moment is all it took for you, The Knower, to know the experience in which the physical being believed in the illusion that they were knowing, rather than being known by you, The Knower.
In the same way the past only exists in the knowing of a thought in which the concept of a past exists, the future is no more than imagined foresight observed in the same knowing of thought. Any thing that can be expected to happen at a time other than now, is simply the knowing of a thought in which the concept of an imagined future or a remembered past exists. There is no past and there is no future that can exist outside of the knowing of a thought that is happening now. In other words, should a memory or imagined foresight be observed in the knowing of thought, that thought is being known, now.
Although there are tokens present in the physical experience that remind the physical being of a memory, such as a photograph or a letter, you are knowing an experience in which a photograph or a letter seems to hold significant meaning. These memories, observed in a thought that is known by you, tell a story of a past, or predict the happenings of a future. Yet, they are being known by you, The Knower, now. It is a paradoxical concept that the physical being must come to terms with, in that it cannot be understood with the same understanding one would use in the unravelling of physical concepts with which they may or may not be familiar.
You will know a thought in which memories of the physical being’s childhood exist, memories of loved ones, memories of hardships and successes. You will observe the knowing of thoughts with sentimental meaning, but the physical being must not forget that you are simply knowing an experience in which the physical being exists, rather than experiencing one.
The past and the future exist only in the knowing of thought. Though the thought in which they are known will always happen now. You can know a thought of a memory of a past, but it remains as the knowing of a thought, and nothing else. You cannot do any thing other than the knowing of experience, whether it is physical or of a thought. Time exists within the experience of which you are knowing, meaning you, The Knower, are not bound by it. You know now, and in the same way, never. You are momentary, and in the same way, infinite. You have always known, and in the same way, will forever know.
You are no thing, you are no where, and you are knowing now. The probability of you knowing an experience is not a quantifiable number, for you are only ever knowing the concept of “probability” when you know a thought in which probability can be pondered. You are only ever knowing of the concept of “probability” when you are knowing an experience in which the concept of “probability” exists. When are you knowing this experience? Now.
Like the wax that drips and falls a hundred drops, your eyes, so slowly, fall asleep. Though there lies a thought or two that linger in your mind, you wander towards the silence in-between. As your weary eyes struggle to break the seal of fatigue, you find yourself in an elegant bar, only half the size of your feeble cabin. You’re dreaming.
You cannot be associated with a gender, but you are knowing the experience in which the concept of gender exists. You do not have a physical body, rather, you are knowing the experience in which a being traverses a physical world with a physical body. You do not have the capacity to think, but rather you are knowing thought, in which identities, memories and beliefs may or may not appear. You do not have a history, but rather you are knowing thought in which the memory of a history may or may not appear.
I can assure you that not only have I never left my body, but I have yet to learn how to meditate. In the beginning, I thought meditation was essential to silence the mind, so I tried and tried, and tried again. Yet, it was only the idea of meditation that stood out to me. What remains in the absence of everything? What is still aware? What would the awareness of nothing even look like?
I understood that what I thought I knew, could not be known, for if it was known I would have been able to describe it. My friend was in the room as well, she had known of my path of finding “purpose” and somehow accepted the ridiculous nature of what I was trying to do. I turned to her and said, quite unironically, “I.. I think… I’m awakened?”
I had always been found. Yet, it was me that was searching. It was always me. I was there when I thought no one was. I was the one who was seeing myself, even when I thought I was invisible. It was always me, and I had no words to describe it. I couldn’t tell anyone, because it was not a thing that could be told. I couldn’t teach it to anyone, because it was not a thing that could be taught. There was nothing I could do… and then I understood the joke.
Before you change into the proper carnival attire, you close the curtains for some privacy. After grabbing a pair of socks you close the drawer and start putting on your boots. The thought appears once again, that the abstraction of ‘closing a thing’ has been expressed time after time. You grow weary of the pointless abstracting your mind seems to entertain, and decide to meditate in the hopes of calming your thoughts, so you close your eyes. Then, you get it.
You remember the thought you observed which resulted in your change of direction, from heading to the carnival, to searching for an inn. You think it ridiculous, but choose to entertain it nonetheless. You see that the ‘change in direction’ abstraction was present in the thought you observed, the physical path you were walking, the horse drawn carriage and inevitably, the fellow who instructed the change in direction. The fellow would have observed a similar thought wherein the ‘change in direction’ abstraction was present, resulting in the horses turning the same corner.
You start to realise that the ‘change in direction’ abstraction is also present in the crossroad, the change in destination from the carnival to the inn and even the thought that observed one possible future, but decided on another. It would be impossible for you to know what the fellow is thinking about at all, unless they choose to tell you. You are starting to recognise abstractions in the expressions you are observing.
This inspires you to abstract your experience with the Ticket Seller, wherein you were told to ‘beware’, but beware of what? Regardless of how dangerous the carnival seemed, you decided that the fun far outweighed the terror. Though you understand the fright that can befall you, you are prepared to cast aside your peacefulness. But what does this mean? Why does it matter? The thought wanders from your mind.
Somehow, you are still able to enjoy the festivities of the carnival, even though you are viciously exercising every thought that appears in your mind. As you line up for the Ferris Wheel, you stand behind a tiny group of Leprechauns. One of the little Leprechauns is sitting cross legged on the ground. The little Leprechaun is placing domino pieces in a row and watching them all fall down after hitting the initial domino. The little Leprechaun keeps doing the same thing, over and over again. Every time the dominos fell, the little Leprechaun would stand them up, only to make them fall, all over again.
How are all things seemingly expressing The Awareness? How are all things seemingly expressing? How are all things expressing? How? You are baffled by the obvious expressions and amused by their ambiguity. Upon leaving the circus, you wander aimlessly till you come upon the Haunted House. You never even thought of going inside, but what is the worst that can happen? You finally understand that any thing that happens within the experience can neither harm nor touch you, The Awareness, although it may cause quite a scare.
Should you entertain the serenity of deep meditation, become aware of the thoughts that appear and abstract them and their many expressions. If a thought appears, try to understand where it is appearing. If a thought appears, try to understand to whom it is appearing. Abstract every aspect of every thought, until there is nothing left. Once there is nothing left in the awareness of thought, you will find all that is left, which is nothing. When you find this nothing, abstract it.
Observe the nature of the things you have known for the entirety of your life from this new, though familiar, perspective. Another example is the essence of thought. Thinking allows you to see what cannot be seen. It is thought that entertains you with a voice that cannot be heard. A memory lies in the awareness of thought, wherein the reminiscent taste of chocolate or the delicate aroma of a flower is simply observed.
For instance, a simple thought about the abstraction of ‘growing’ will not magically express the abstraction of ‘growing’, physically, throughout the experience. A simple thought will bring about a simple thought, and that is all. If you want to apply any abstraction, you must wilfully and physically express it throughout the experience. That is, you must express ‘growing’ in different aspects of your experience.
Where there is fear, you can find serenity. Where there is hatred, you can find love. Where there is chaos, you can find peace. Where there is a thing, you can find the opposite of it. That is, if there is an abstraction of ‘withering’, you can find the abstraction of ‘growing’. Where do you find it? Here. You can find the abstraction of ‘growing’ here, right now. You can find the abstraction of anything here. Whether you find such an abstraction within the knowing of a thought or the knowing of a physical experience, it remains true that the same abstraction is what is being expressed.
The imagination, or knowing of a thought, is not more or less significant than the knowing of a physical experience. Similarly, the knowing of a thought expressing the abstraction of ‘growing’, is not more or less significant than the knowing of a physical experience in which a thing is expressing the abstraction of ‘growing’. The Knower cannot know significance, but rather The Knower knows the experience in which a thing may or may not be deemed more or less significant than another thing.
“The Salesman would sell all kinds of weapons, armour and trinkets that the many challengers believed would outwit the Jester. One thing the Salesman realised was that no one was buying the mirrors! The Salesman thought it clever to use mirrors in the battle, so that a reflective maze could bar the Jester from ever even finding the Salesman.”
“After packing the arena with countless mirrors, the Salesman ran back to the store to fetch the final looking glass. The crowds were taking their seats, anxious to see if the mirrors were to confuse the Jester or distract the Salesman. As the Salesman entered their store, they thought it harmless to look into the mirror, one final time. In the looking of its own reflection, the Salesman forgot about the battle, for it was so in love. In the finding of its own reflection, the Salesman forgot, for it was so in love. In the finding, it forgot.”
Greetings! I hope you’ve enjoyed your time in the room! Did you enjoy reading the book? Did you enjoy the stories that I told? Was it anything and everything you ever thought it would be? Was it anything and everything you ever thought it could be? Was it more?